Scenes From a Marriage: Reaction/Analysis
Earlier this week, I came across a post on my instagram feed that left me intrigued. It was from a page that posts scenes from movies with the subtitles of that particular scene. In this post, there was a couple sitting across from each other and there were three different pictures of the scene. The caption was:
“I think we should teach children that love ends. Relationships end, and people leave, and they break up, and that is just part of life. And then maybe, it just wouldn’t so painful.”
I read the caption and it posed a question at the very end that furthered my intrigue.
“Are you willing to find meaning in your pain?”
So naturally, as the curious, inquisitive person I am, I searched up the series this post was referencing. After a bit of deliberation, I decided to watch it. SN: I was particularly influenced by the ratings IMDB and Rotten Tomatoes gave it (8.1 & 83%).
*SPOILER ALERT* If you have not watched this, do not read any further.
Scenes From a Marriage was adapted from the 1970’s Swedish miniseries of the same name. The writer, producer of this miniseries, intentionally swapped gender roles to make the adaptation stand on its own. Mira, the female protagonist, was the breadwinner. Her husband, Jonathan, had a career of his own but is the one taking care of their daughter. This clear divergence from the original miniseries is brilliant in my opinion because it leaves the audience wondering how everything is going to play out. Perhaps if it was the other way around, the predictability factor would be greater since this is the most common scenario in movies (pun intended).
I would like to do a brief character analysis before I go on and share my feedback on the storyline.
Mira: Successful career driven woman who loses sight of her family ironically due to her successful career. Her priorities seem to be either non-existent or all over the place. There is no in between. Is it lust that she craves because love and stability bored her? Either way she is a toxic person.
Jonathan: A suppressed Jewish man that always lived in the shadows of his father, never quite living up to his expectations. The Jewish guilt in him washes over his personal choices until he breaks free from this cycle and thinks for himself.
Storyline: The slow and very painful dissolution of a marriage due to the lack of communication and temptation. We view the unfolding of the separation through the back and forth tense and highly emotional dialogues between Mira and Jonathan, Only to find out at the very end that their paths crossed again as they engage in what I would deem to be a very toxic affair, given their history. I did not like the glorification of toxicity but also wonder if it was intentional to make the audience uncomfortable and send a clear message of how infidelity brews toxic behavior. I did not like the back and forth the couple went through with their relationship even at the very end. I did not like the scene where Mira and Jonathan get physical before the divorce papers are signed and after they had hooked up. Lastly, I was disturbed by how nonchalant Jonathan was with his affair with Mira while he has a whole new family. It was hypocritical of him after what he suffered with Mira leaving him. He was doing that to his own family now. Living a double life only catches up to you at a certain point. Life has a way of making things known and bringing the truth to light. Always.
This series begs the question: How is our perception different when a woman is the one to leave the marriage and initiate the separation versus a man? Do we hold women at a higher standard than men in this context? And if so, why does that continue to be the case when women are already prescribed so many societal expectations? Why are women held at higher standards? Damned if they choose to have a career over raising their children and staying at home and damned if they choose to stay home and not financially contribute to the household. It also serves as a cautionary tale of the devastating effects of lack of communication and dishonesty. Long term relationships are bound to have moments of detachment and in the absence of communication, trust is at stake. If you cannot discuss hard and uncomfortable matters with your signifiant other, how anchored are you really in your marriage?
All relationships involve a measure of risk but this risk can be offset with great communication and understanding. Unquestionably, respect, trust, and communication keep a marriage tethered beyond love. In a time where more time is spent staring and scrolling at screens, intentional conversations are crucial and necessary in the lifespan of a marriage, I feel. Each marriage has their own complexity to it and it requires a great deal of vulnerability to withstand trials and tribulations. This vulnerability has to be coupled and encouraged through understanding and holding space for it when necessary.
Scenes from a Marriage may not have had a concrete ending but it did have concrete issues couples struggle with. May your marriages be abundant in understanding, communication, and respect. For if these are present, love will naturally flow. And if separation is the answer, may you value and love yourself before committing and sharing your life with another individual.
I discovered this artist recently and I really love this song for two reasons:
I am a Selenophile
Heartbreak and reality that comes with it coupled in a song (pun unintended)
Self explanatory
